Tag: grief

My name is Rosemarie Solarz. I am currently seventy years old. I would like to share with you a very traumatic experience I had at 10 years old.

My parents went out for a New Years eve dance in town and left my brother and I with a neighbor’s son who was sixteen years old. He told my brother and I (who was 9 at the time) that he wanted to teach us a new game we could all play.

For us it sounded like fun. But it wasn’t. He started doing things we didn’t like and we did not want to play anymore and began to get scared. Before I knew it, he had raped me.

I remember I did not cry because I did not know what had just happened to me. Back then, words like rape were not mentioned. All I could remember the rest of the evening was I hurt and did not feel good so I went to my bedroom and stayed until my parents came home.

The memory of that horrible experience changed the rest of my life. I never had any lasting, healthy relationships, low self-image, worked hard to have people like me, gained weight, self-sabotaged myself and finally a broken marriage to make me feel even more inadequate!

Those memories were stored so deep in my subconscious that I was in my mid-forties before they revealed their ugly self. I had an opportunity to attend a healing mass at my church one evening and the priest that was conducting the healing part whispered in my ear had I been sexually abused by my father.

I just froze! Then I began to shake. Tears came to my eyes. He laid his hand on my shoulder to calm me and said to come see him the next day and talk about. I never cried so hard in my life. The release was more than I could bear, just to have it come out.

He gave me the name of a counselor to go to. I took advantage of many opportunities to seek help. However, I reached the point where I felt I had worked through everything and did not need to go on further.

How wrong I was! For some unknown reason I would shy away from any conversations that would pertain to rape, or anything that had to do with intimacy. Never wanted to be around men and I still felt shame.

However, recently my eldest daughter, Christina Mayhew, completed Dr. Roger Callahan’s TFT class in California and helped clean out all the old baggage I was still carrying around. She taught me how to use the Trauma and shame algorithm technique in order to free me of the remaining pain I felt.

I cannot express strongly enough just how much it has helped me. The experience of this technique is nothing short of a miracle in my opinion. The technique took us no more than ten, maybe twelve minutes. I pray that anyone else going through trauma of any kind will seek out this program in order to receive the complete healing they deserve!